BISTOP

©DEV VIRAHSAWMY AND ICJM

BANN PERSONAZ
BRAMINEVA
LAKADEDAM
FAYPAT
KATPAT
TAYKAT
SAM

Lor bistop. Omilie lanwit. Dan selter enn personaz pe asize tousel. Li paret ti kalite, mens; so seve drwat plat lor so latet ek enn bert omilie fini ar de lake par deryer; li met enn kostim zom kouler nwar extra larz ki anpandan lor li kouma lenz enn zean lor enn nen; lamans so palto ploye pou liber so lame; lagoul so pantalon ploye pou ki li kapav marse; so lipie pa vizib. Li apel Bramineva. Li pe asiz lor ban, lipie gos lor lipie drwat; li fixe drwat divan li; … li sanz pozision; li met lipie drwat lor lipie gos; … resanz pozision; … lipie gos lor lipie drwat. Li dibout, mars-marse, al dibout lor ban; fer koumadir li pou dir kiksoz; sanz lide; re-asiz lor ban, ti lipie lor gro lipie. Enn lot personaz rantre. Li enn lom ki paret demi-porsion; so long rob iniversiter trene anba; so kap gradie tini lor so zorey. Li apel Lakadedam. Li al direk dan lot extremite selter la san get Bramineva koumadir li pa ekziste. Li skwat dis fwa; galoup anplas; re-fer skwat; alonz lor ban, fer lekzersis vant.
LAKADEDAM
Mens sana in corpore sano. ( Li roul enn kanon ganja, koumans fime. Li get Bramineva koumadir premie fwa li dekouver so lekzistans.) Enn dam? … Non? … De dam? … Mo prezant momem. Profeser Lakadedam. … Enchanté! … Mademoiselle? … Madame? … Monsieur?
BRAMINEVA
Sovaz! Ou’le enn klak? … Taler mo fer lapolis ramas ou. Ou kwar mo ou zans mwa? Al sikann ou mama! Al sikann ou ser! … (Li tir enn liv dan so pos, li koumans lir.)
LAKADEDAM
Ayozoto! Enn sovsouri. Enn sovsouri!
BRAMINEVA
Kotsa? Kotsa?
LAKADEDAM
La! (Li montre li ar so ledwa.)
BRAMINEVA
Hell is the other people. … Ou rekoumanse?
LAKADEDAM
Rekoumanse? Mo pa ankor arete. Ou pou dir, ou pa pou dir?
BRAMINEVA
Ki pou dir?
LAKADEDAM
Mwa mo Lakadedam, ou ou …. ou ou? Ou ou ou ou? Pa kone!
BRAMINEVA
(Li remet so liv dan so pos, get otour li, mont lor ban, fer koumadir li pe al koze, sanz lide, reasize, tir so liv, ouver li, met lame dan enn pos, tir enn ti tors elektrik, ekler paz so liv, koumans lir.)
LAKADEDAM
(Peyna okenn reaksion koumadir tousa bien normal. Li kontinie fim so mas.)
Ris enn dam? (Silans) … (Li koumans sante.) Dam maro dam, Hare Krishna, hare Ram… (Li sante, danse. Li kler ki li ena boukou stil. Apre enn bout letan, fatige, li dormi lor so ledo lor enn ban, krwaz so lame lor so vant kouma enn kadav, li bouz fix. Bramineva lev so latet pou gete ki pe pase. Li fixe Lakadedam ki pa pe bouze ditou. Li tengn so tors, met so liv dan so pos, al ver Lakadedam, apros ar li dousma-dousma ar boukou ezitasion okoumansman. Li met so zorey bien pre kot so nene pou gete si li pe respire…. Enn kou, san atann, Lakadedam drese, asize. Bramineva galoupe, retourn dan so plas, tir so liv, alim so tors, fer sanblan li pe lir.) Dernie bis pre pou pase ousa finn fini pase? (silans) Dernie bis finn fini pase? Ousa pankor? (silans) Fini? Pa’nkor? Pa’nkor? Fini? Fini? Pa’nkor? Pa’nkor? Fini? Fini? Pa’nkor? Pa’nkor? Fini? Fini? Pa’nkor? Pa’nkor? Fini? Fini? Pa’nkor? Pa’nkor? Fini? Fini? Pa’nkor? Pa’nkor? Fini? (Li koze ar ritm enn lokomotiv ki demare, akselere e finalman ralanti, arete.)
BRAMINEVA
(Lev latet, met so liv dan pos.) Latet pa bon? Depi lepok Walter nepli ena tren. (Li mont lor ban.) … Aster nou vwayaz par bis, taxi, taxi maron, loto joutifri, loto fri net, motosiklet, mobilet, trotinet. Bisiklet, pa koze, … finn rant dan mize tren. Nou ena sime enn vwa, de vwa, trwa vwa, kat vwa. We are civilised. Nou dekouraz dimoun marse ousa pedale. Sa zis barbar ki fer. Nou pou konstrir metro leze, metro lour, pwa plim, pwa kok, pwa poul mouye. We are modern. More modern than that, spoil. Dan nou koze ena vites, dan nou gete ena vites, dan nou panse ena vites, dan nou santi ena vites; ena vites, ena vites, ena vites, ena vites,ena vites, ena vites, ena vites, ena vites, ena vites, ena vites, chaka, chaka, chaka, chaka … chaka, chaka, chaka, chaka … chaka, chaka, chaka, chaka … chaka, chaka … chaka, chaka … chaka … chaka … chaka … cha … chhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
LAKADEDAM
Tren la finn arete?

BRAMINEVA
No sir, tank is empty. Must go filling.
(Sakenn retourn dan so plas, fer koumadir lotla pa ekziste. Bramineva repran so liv, Lakadedam alonz lor ban kouma talerla. … Enn telefonn sone. Toulede tir zot telefonn dan pos. Pa zot telefonn sa. Sakenn get so kamrad, remet telefonn dan pos. Me sonnri telefonn kontinie. Zot koumans rode. Rode partou. Abba. Sonnri kontinie…. Enn gro bonom rantre. Li met redengot, sapo oform. So lenz bien sere lor li. Ena bouton ki finn fini sote.)
TAYKAT
Personn pa’nn trouv mo telefonn? Telefonn, telefonn ou e chi? Kit, kit kit, kit, kit, kit, kit. Kit, kit kit, kit, kit, kit, kit. Kit, kit kit, kit, kit, kit, kit. Telefonn, telefonn ou e chi? Peyna personn dan sa douniya la pou dir mo telefonn retourn lakaz kot so vre paran. Pa paran adoptif me vre paran veritab vre. Telefonn, telefonn ou e chi? Kit, kit kit, kit, kit, kit, kit. Kit, kit kit, kit, kit, kit, kit. Kit, kit kit, kit, kit, kit, kit. Kit, kit kit, kit, kit, kit, kit. Kit, kit kit, kit, kit, kit, kit. Kit, kit kit, kit, kit, kit, kit. Telefonn, telefonn ou e chi? Telefonn, telefonn ou e chi? Vinn kot papa mo beta. Vinn kot papa mo beta. Vinn kot papa mo beta. Vinn kot papa mo beta. …
BRAMINEVA
Sir, telephone is not people, is not chicken; it is not living, not animate. It does not run-come with kit, kit, kit. Tell him you, you there sleeping like dead. Shake your ass, move your ass, the law is an ass. This is not evident. People must be more performant. Not easy! ( Lakadedam bouz fix.)
TAYKAT
Shuuuuuuuuut! Pa deranz mo reflex, anpes mwa reflekte. Bizen silans red, sek kouma lamor parski lamor pa toler doub son. Enn sel son, red, sek, direk, plat, orizontal. Kot sa foutou telefonn la? Kouk, alalila! Non li pa la. Re-kouk! (Sonnri pa’nn arete.) SILAAAAAANNNNNNNNNSS! (Sonnri arete.) Bon garson! Vinn kot papa mo beta. Vinn kot papa. … Ki ou ti pe dir? … Mamzel? … Madam? … Misie? … Touletrwa anmemtan?
BRAMINEVA
Sovaz! Ou’le enn klak? … Taler mo fer lapolis ramas ou. Ou kwar mo ou zans mwa? Al sikann ou mama! Al sikann ou ser! (Li kontinie lir dan so liv.)
TAYKAT
( Li mars ver Bramineva, so santimet dan lame.)
BRAMINEVA
He! What you gain?
TAYKAT
Mo pe pran ou mizir. Ki ou ete pa enteres mwa. Mo lentere se ou oter, ou larzer, ou epeser. Samem tou. Ou profonder pa mo lentere. Fouy kouma ou’le sa ne me fe ni so ni frwa. ( Li aret divan li, diboute, get li. ) Eh, ou enn ti kalite ou! Mo pou donn ou enn bon diskawnt. Diskawnt lor serkey, transpor ek lafos. Enn an garanti, tou fre konpri. Servis personalize; konfor ek sekirite asire. Ou’le sign kontra deswit?
BRAMINEVA
I need die before.
TAYKAT
Dimoun mor pa signe. Fer mofinn sa.
BRAMINEVA
You like to eat head.
TAYKAT
Non, non, non, non! Mwa mo pa manz nanye. Mo zis prepar enn festen delix pou lever amize. Mo prezant momem. Mo travay mazordom dan Domenn Kat. Mo patron Misie Kat li taye, raze. Mwa mo okip lanbalaz. Grasa mwa, mem apre lamor biznes donn bal. Biznes serkey, fler, tom, kavo. Mo kapav ofer gelar profesionel ki plor telman bien ki tou dimoun pou kwar ki zot vremem sagren; pa zis zot plore, zot fer lezot plore. Bann veritab artis. Dan zot repertwar ena program pou lamor mari, lamor fam, lamor zanfan, lamor vwazen, granper, granmer, patron, servant, zardinie, mem minis, premie minis, prezidan. Nou pa fer diskriminasion. Tou dimoun gagn zot rasion larm krokodil.
BRAMINEVA
What your name?
TAYKAT
Taykat.
BRAMINEVA
Taykat? Why Taykat?
TAYKAT
Enn erer to bekoz. Enn nom nek tonbe; mo ramas li; li kol ar mwa. Samem rezon. Taykat san kler.
LAKADEDAM
(Drese) Non! Zero! Pa vinn detourn mo langaz. Faypat san kler wi. Pa taykat san kler. Ou ki ou?
TAYKAT
Taykat pour vous servir lavi lamor.
BRAMINEVA
Ou’nn reysi leve? Congratulations. Thank you very much.
LAKADEDAM
Mo pa rapel. Ou ou? … Ou ou ou ou …?
BRAMINEVA
Watch your affair!
LAKADEDAM
Mo rapel aster. Sovsouri. Touzour malelve.
BRAMINEVA
Sovaz! Ou’le enn klak?
LAKADEDAM
Klak, klak, klak. Servi ou lame pou lezot zafer.
BRAMINEVA
Ki zafer?
LAKADEDAM
Par egzanp … Par egzanp … Par egzanp … … Pa kone.
TAYKAT
Mwa mo kone.
LAKADEDAM
Dir.
TAYKAT
Servi lame pou … fouy nene … pou tir lipou … grat deryer. …. Ahhh! Mo kontan grate. Grate, grat to makonbinn, grate pa tir zeferinn!
Grate, grat to makonbinn, grate pa tir zeferinn!
Grate, grat to makonbinn, grate pa tir zeferinn!
Kan to grate, to grate, to grate;
Kan to grate, to grate, to grate.
Grate, grat to makonbinn, grate pa tir zeferinn
Grate, grat to makonbinn, grate pa tir zeferinn.
Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate!
(Kouma enn lapipi, tou dimoun koumans grate)
Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate!
Grate ziska so refren.
Grate, grat to makonbinn, grate pa tir zeferinn
Grate, grat to makonbinn, grate pa tir zeferinn.
LAKADEDAM
Taykat, bizen admet ou dan lakademia. Bizen bann zeni kouma ou pou fer kiltir avanse.
Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate! Grate!
Grate ziska so refren.
Grate, grat to makonbinn, grate pa tir zeferinn
Grate, grat to makonbinn, grate pa tir zeferinn.
TAYKAT
Eh mamzel, kifer ou’nn aret grate? Vini nou grate-santi ansam. Pa kas soulezon … mamzel … madam … mmm
BRAMINEVA
Taler kout savat!
LAKADEDAM
Violans! … Ankor violans; touzour violans. Donn mwa lape kotidien; donn mwa lamour. Donn mwa enn sourr nisa apar. Violans li rann!
TAYKAT
Violans samem lesans ki fer moter lavi roule. Violans fer Big Bang pran depar, pa tas lor poto. Violans amenn sanzman; sanzman amenn kase-ranze; kase-ranze amenn lamor e lamor amenn biznes. Biznes amenn zwisans; zwisans marye violans ar nisa. Violans li esansiel; li vital.
BRAMINEVA
Violence is shit, kaka, kaka, kaka!
LAKADEDAM
Kaka bon pou masone; pou fertilize! Zarden ek verze donn bel rannman.
TAYKAT
Zot degoutan! Fer kouma mwa. Kasiet seki vilen; anbom seki santi pi. Ena pitay ladan. Kwar mwa. … Ou, ki ou pe kasiet?
BRAMINEVA
Mwa? Mo pe kasiet? Ki mo pe kasiet? Head no good? Ou, ou pou les li ensilte mwa?
LAKADEDAM
Mwa?
TAYKAT
Mwa? Ensilte ou? Oumem vou pouve kapav kwar!
BRAMINEVA
Dir ki mo pe kasiet.
TAYKAT
Ou pe kasiet ou nom. Ou pa’le dir ki ou ete. Mamzel? … Madam? … Mmmm…
BRAMINEVA
Taler …
TAYKAT
Ou’nn trouve?
LAKADEDAM
Seki li pe rod dir se ki kan laparans pa pe permet persepsion konpran realite obzektif, lerla bann reaksion sibzektif vwal kapasite rasionel e fer ilizion pran plas realite. (Li re-alonze.)
BRAMINEVA
Ki li pe dir?
TAYKAT
Nenport pe fer setaki ar sipakwa.
BRAMINEVA
An! He talks big talk. You talk simple.
TAYKAT
Ou pa pou dir mwa ou nom?
BRAMINEVA
Ou pa pou dir li. Don’t break the key.
TAYKAT
Mo fer serman lor latet mo garson.
BRAMINEVA
Bramineva.
TAYKAT
Bramanivea!
BRAMINEVA
Non, Bramineva. … Braminn … Eva. Top. First.
TAYKAT
Topfers.
BRAMINEVA
Braminn: first, premie grad; Eva: premie woman, first. Correct? Mwa mo premie lo. OK? Lottrey first lot. What do you say?
TAYKAT
I am interesting. … Kifer ou koz diferan?
BRAMINEVA
Diferan?
TAYKAT
Wi, diferan.
BRAMINEVA
Ki diferan, kot diferan, kouma diferan?
TAYKAT
Paret diferan.
BRAMINEVA
An, paret. Pa get paret, get ete seki ete. Pa seki paret. I, I speak normal, official, universal, not patois, pidgin or dialect. Not like these who speak anything, anyway, anyhow. Look him, on his back as if death. Big hat small head. Small body, big gown.
TAYKAT
Me?
BRAMINEVA
You, you big belly, small cockroach. Tight, button jump.
TAYKAT
I am impressing. … Me boukou boukou dollar. You like?
BRAMINEVA
Komie boukou?
TAYKAT
Kawnting finish.
BRAMINEVA
Wow!
TAYKAT
Wow! Wow!
BRAMINEVA
Wow! Wow! Wow!
TAYKAT
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
BRAMINEVA ek TAYKAT
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! etc.
(Enn dans erotik-primitif.)
LAKADEDAM
Zot pe kas soulezon. Anpes enn zeni repoze, reflesi, resipakiete.
TAYKAT
Aret fer to rann; vinn nacho! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! etc.
BRAMINEVA
Come hard head, come, move waist, budge-budge. Give it mama, give it mama! Give it mama, give it mama! Give it mama, give it mama! Give it mama, give it mama! Move waist, move waist! Shake waya! Break waist!! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! etc.
(Lakadedam re-alonze, so de lame anba so latet. Pandan ki Bramineva ek Taykat pe danse Faypat ek Katpat rantre. Zot met kolan nwar, zot figir penn ar blan fluo. Katpat pe mars katpat e Faypat pe fer zoke. Personn pa remark zot prezans. Zot fer plizier letour lasenn avan ki bann danser may ar zot e toulekat tom anba. Lakadedam diboute get zot pe debat pou sey leve me sak fwa ki zot pre pou reysi kikenn fer enn fos manev e zot tou re-roul anba.)
LAKADEDAM
Matematikman parlan nou ena la enn teorem enteresan: (1/1×4+?=0). Filozofikman li plis enteresan: Kan bon kalite mont dadak ek fay kalite seye pa reysi ena enn problematik ki dimann kalot pou trouv solision. Me bann pragmatik pou dir: kan maye, tonbe ena dezord me bizen dezord pou met lord. … Mwa mo pa la pou met lord me pou konstate ki dezord ekziste. Tousa tro fatigan. Mo prefer re-al repoze.
( Li retourn lor ban, alonze, krwaz so lebra lor so ches. Kat ki pe roule anba kontinie fer akrobasi pou leve e finalman zot reysi. Selman Taykat ek Bramineva mars katpat e Faypat ek Katpat mont dadak. Zot realize kiksoz pa normal; zot re-roul anba e sannfwala Faypat ek Katpat mars katpat e lot de la mont dadak; zot re-roul anba ziska ki Bramineva ek Taykat dibout, Katpat mars katpat e Faypat mont dadak. Zot fer enn gran sourir satisfaksion.)
TAYKAT
Popilasion finn ogmant par 40%. Pou ena 40% plis lanterman. Krwasans ekonomik rekor. ( Li get Faypat ek Katpat. ) … Zot pa fatige zwe kemkem mo seval?
FAYPAT
Nou pa zwe kemkem. Kemkem se nou kiltir, nou manier viv.
LAKADEDAM
(San bouze) Evolision riwayn. Re-vinn zako.
FAYPAT
Pa sa. Mo ena enn move desten. Toultan mo pe fer fopa. Par erer mo kas konte, amenn garrbarr. Move fay pat. Parfwa mo telman per pou leve ki mo res lor lili pou les mofinn pase, ale. Enn zour mo dalon Katpat vinn lakaz. Li dir mwa ki li kapav sarye mwa pou anpes mo fay pat atir lagign. Depi sa zour la nou finn vinn torsenn kole, kouma simiz ek lamores …
KATPAT
Simiz ek kalson.
FAYPAT
Hen, zot’nn trouve? … simiz ek kalson.
BRAMINEVA
Be li?
FAYPAT
Kisannla?
BRAMINEVA
Li. Li ou kemkem. Touzour katpat?
FAYPAT
Enn zistwar bien dou-tris, ge-amer. So lavi ti koumans anba enn gran tonel, imans, grander enn pei. Anba tonel la toutsort kalite dimoun ek zanimo ti pe viv. Me kouma tonel la ti bien ba dimoun pa ti kapav dibout marse. Swa zot skwat, asiz lor zot lipie, marse kouma kanar; swa zot mars katpat. Sakenn ti swazir so prop metod lokomosion. Pa ti ena diskriminasion. Ena ti pe ranpe ‘si. Ena ti pe kile lor zot ledo. Ler ti envant larou ena ti konstrir bann ti platform lor kat larou e lerla zot ti alonz lor platform la par vant, rame ar zot lebra e avanse vit-vit. Enn zour, pa kone kifer, mo kamwad desid pou vinn dan nou lespas. … Anfen li li dir ki li ti tann mwa pe plengne parski mo fay pat. Ler li vinn kot nou li desid pou dibout lor so lapat deryer kouma nou. Li gagn vertiz. Akoz samen li prefer res katpat. Kan li fatige katpat, li asize ousa li dormi.
BRAMINEVA
Like he?
FAYPAT
Pa kone. … Kouma li ti abitie viv anba tonel li pa gagn enn ale ar soley. Lizour li ferm li dan so lasam, ferm rido, anpes soley rantre e aswar li sorti e katpat nou chake. Li li lokomosion; mwa mo direksion. Haysh! Ho! Chale mere gori tik tik tik! Chale mere gori tik tik tik! Chale mere gori tik tik tik! Chale mere gori tik tik tik!
LAKADEDAM
(Drese.) Enteresan!
BRAMINEVA
Yes, yes! Interested!
( Seki swiv se enn dialog ding-dong kadanse.)
LAKADEDAM
Interesting!
BRAMINEVA
Interested.
LAKADEDAM
Interesting!
BRAMINEVA
Interested.
LAKADEDAM
Interesting!
BRAMINEVA
Interested.
LAKADEDAM
What is your name?
BRAMINEVA
Bramineva.
LAKADEDAM
Bramineva?
BRAMINEVA
Bramineva.
LAKADEDAM
Bramineva! Vava!
BRAMINEVA
Interested?
LAKADEDAM
Interesting!
LAKADEDAM
What is your name?
BRAMINEVA
Bramineva.
LAKADEDAM
Bramineva?
BRAMINEVA
Bramineva.
LAKADEDAM
Bramineva! Vava!
BRAMINEVA
Interested?
LAKADEDAM
Interesting!… Shall we dance?
BRAMINEVA
Yes, yes!
LAKADEDAM
Shall we shake?
BRAMINEVA
Yes, yes!
LAKADEDAM
Shall we rock?
BRAMINEVA
Yes, yes!
LAKADEDAM
Shall we roll?
BRAMINEVA
Yes, yes!
LAKADEDAM
Shall we kiss?
BRAMINEVA
Yes, yes!
LAKADEDAM
Shall we fuck?
BRAMINEVA
Yes, yes!
LAKADEDAM
To sir?
BRAMINEVA
What affair?
LAKADEDAM
Shall we dance?
BRAMINEVA
Yes, yes!
LAKADEDAM
Shall we shake?
BRAMINEVA
Yes, yes!
LAKADEDAM
Shall we rock?
BRAMINEVA
Yes, yes!
LAKADEDAM
Shall we roll?
BRAMINEVA
Yes, yes!
LAKADEDAM
Shall we kiss?
BRAMINEVA
Yes, yes!
LAKADEDAM
Shall we fuck?
BRAMINEVA
Yes, yes!
LAKADEDAM
To sir?
BRAMINEVA
What affair?
LAKADEDAM
Fer enn ti koko?
BRAMINEVA
Bad savage! Taler mo klak twa!
LAKADEDAM
( Li tir so kap akademik, li avoy dan enn kwen.)
Mo eva, chachacha
Vinn ar mwa chachacha
To Adam chachacha
Kas enn yenn chachacha
Nou manz fri konesans
Ferfout ar zoli pie
Imortalite.
Zordi ki realite
Mo Eva, mo Eva.
BRAMINEVA
Makadam, you are rann, you are rann, you are rann.
Forget, don’t make laugh. Hold-hold mem
Until roots grow.
Makadam, you are rann, you are rann, you are rann.
Makadam, you are rann, you are rann, you are rann.
LAKADEDAM
( Li tir so rob iniversiter, avoy li dan ler, les li tom anba lor sali. Li finn met jins ek tisirt rouz ki montre enn lekor zoli kouma enn stati Grek.)
Mo eva, chachacha
Vinn ar mwa chachacha
To Adam chachacha
Kas enn yenn chachacha
Nou manz fri konesans
Ferfout ar zoli pie
Imortalite.
Zordi ki realite
Mo Eva, mo Eva.
BRAMINEVA
Makadam, you are rann, you are rann, you are rann.
Forget, don’t make laugh. Hold-hold mem
Until roots grow. … Oh God, you’re gorgeous!
Makadam, you are rann, you are rann, you are rann.
Makadam, you are rann, you are rann, you are rann.
Oh God, you’re gorgeous!
LAKADEDAM
( Li tir so tisirt, montre so lekor miskle.)
Mo eva, chachacha
Vinn ar mwa chachacha
To Adam chachacha
Kas enn yenn chachacha
Nou manz fri konesans
Ferfout ar zoli pie
Imortalite.
Zordi ki realite
Mo Eva, mo Eva.
BRAMINEVA
Makadam, you are rann, you are rann, you are rann.
Forget, don’t make laugh. Hold-hold mem
Until roots grow. … Oh God, you’re gorgeous! Let me touch!
Makadam, you are rann, you are rann, you are rann.
Makadam, you are rann, you are rann, you are rann.
Oh God, you’re gorgeous! Let me touch, let me touch! Let me touch, let me touch! Let me touch, let me touch!
LAKADEDAM
( Li koumans tir so jins.)
Mo eva, chachacha
Vinn ar mwa chachacha … (Li sey trap li.)
BRAMINEVA
What you get?
LAKADEDAM
Zalimet, santimet … labraget ..
BRAMINEVA
Taleur I claque you.
LAKADEDAM
Ou lame velour fer mwa giji-giji.
Bramineva, mineva, mineva
Ou zoli lizie fer mwa giji-giji;
Bramineva, mineva, mineva
Ou zoli bataz fer mwa giji-giji;
Tir ou palto, ou pantalon
Lerla nou dans, nou dans kinipoupou.
(Li’nn fini tir so jins. Lakadedam enn zoli boug ar enn lekor taye kouma enn skilptir. Li fer bann mouvman danser bale.)
BRAMINEVA
Oh God he’s so … mo pa kone. He’s so … kouma pou dir sa? ( Li koumans deboutonn so palto ar elegans enn prima balerina; li tir so pantalon extra larz; larg so de tres, sakouy so latet, so seve anvole otour so latet; li ramas so long seve, atas enn ne. Ler li fini dezabiye net se enn balerina dan so kolan ki paret divan nou.)

( Enn lamizik kosmik desann lor later, lamizik Prokofiev “Romeo & Ziliet”.Enn koregrafi extra…. Zis minwi tann lorloz lavil sonn douz fwa. Blakout lor lasenn.)      …………………………

( Mem plas ki koumansman. Kenz minit pli tar. Bramineva finn remet so lenz kouma avan e li pe lir so liv ar led so ti tors; Lakadedam ‘si finn re-abiye kouma dan koumansman e li pe alonze dan so kwen. Faypat pe fer kadadak lor Katpat e Taykat, santimet dan lame pe mizir tou seki li trouve divan li. Enn fam senkant-swasant an anviron rantre. Li met sari, so seve alagarsonn kouler gri larzan. Tou dimoun aret zot aktivite, fixe li. Zot paret entimide. Li al asiz lor ban pre kot Lakadedam, ki toutswit asize pou montre respe. Li ouver so sak, tir so zegwi ek lalenn e koumans trikote. Li apel Sam.)
SAM
Kikenn kone kan prosenn bis?
TAYKAT
Dernie bis yer finn fini pase; premie bis zordi pa’nkor.
SAM
Kiler?
TAYKAT
Bis yer?
SAM
Non, bis zordi.
TAYKAT
Bis zordi. Les mo gete. Bis zordi. Kestion difisil. … Kikenn kone? (Personn pa reazir.) Mo kwar personn pa kone.
SAM
Be ki zot pe atann?
TAYKAT
Kisannla?
SAM
Bannla.
TAYKAT
He, bann bannla, ki zot pe atann? (Okenn reaksion) … Mo kwar zot pa kone.
SAM
Ou konn zot?
TAYKAT
He, bann bannla, mo konn zot? (Okenn reaksion) … Koumadir mo pa konn zot … vadire … kikfwa … Ou?
SAM
(lev latet get li.) Ki zafer?
TAYKAT
Ou, kisannla ou?
SAM
Mo apel Sam.
TAYKAT
Sam?
SAM
Wi, Sam.
TAYKAT
Sam, enn nom … garson! Ou ou paret pa garson apart ou seve …
SAM
Non, mo pa enn travesti. Sam kourt pou Samannta.
TAYKAT
Annnn! … Ki ou pe fer?
SAM
Trikote.
TAYKAT
Ki zafer?
SAM
Enn ponncho pou mo tizanfan.
TAYKAT
Tizanfan?
SAM
Wi, misie … misie? … misie
TAYKAT
Taykat
SAM
Wi, misie Taykat, mo enn granmer.
TAYKAT
Granmer? Pa’nkor mor? (Li pran so mizir. Sam get li ar enn sourir.)
SAM
Menopoz pa vedir lamor.
LAKADEDAM
(Drese, asize.) Enteresan!
BRAMINEVA
Interested.
(Faypat lor Katpat aprose.)
TAYKAT
(Zwe-zwe ar so santimet.) Mo pa konpran.
SAM
Zom pa’le konpran. Zot lespri finn desann dan zot bavant. …(Taykat, Faypat ek Katpat prefer bat karte. Lakadedam ek Bramineva res pre ar Sam ansilans. Sam koumans sante pandan ki li trikote. Sante la se enn adaptasion ‘Familiale’ par Jacques Prevert.)
Mama la trikote
So garson al lager
Mama la li panse
Ki tousa bien normal.
Papa la dan biznes
So madam trikote
So garson al lager
Li debrouy dan komers.

Garson la so mama trikote
So papa debrouye dan komers
Li li al fer lager.
Kan li pou retourne
Ar so papa li pou
Debrouye dan komers.
Li ankor fer lager;
So mama ankor fer triko;
So papa ankor debrouye dan komers.
Zot finn touy garson la
Li pa pou retourne;
So papa so mama ansam al simitier.
Zot trouv sa bien normal.
Fer lager, trikote, fer biznes,
Fer biznes, trikote, fer lager;
Trikote, fer lager, fer biznes;
Al met fler simitier.
LAKADEDAM
Li tris ou sante la.
BRAMINEVA
Quite very sad!
SAM
Kifer ou koz drol mo tifi?
BRAMINEVA
I speak droll? No I speak constitution. I speak official.
LAKADEDAM
Li kontan fer vadire.
BRAMINEVA
Me I do as if? What do you gain?
SAM
Zot toulede koz drol, abiy drol, fer drol. Pa kone kifer.
LAKADEDAM
Mo kwar akoz … akoz nou ena kiksoz pou kasiet.
BRAMINEVA
Me I not have something to hide. I am what I am. (Li boude, al asiz dan enn kwen.)
SAM
Nou tou nou ena kiksoz pou kasiet. Me fale pa nou rod kasiet li ar noumem. Nou prop latet pa pou les nou trankil lerla.
LAKADEDAM
Mo kwar samem.
SAM
Pov tifi!
LAKADEDAM
Madam!
SAM
Apel mwa Sam, Sami, Samannta.
LAKADEDAM
Difisil. Ou mem laz ar mo mama.
SAM
Apel mwa tantinn alors. Kouma ou apele?
LAKADEDAM
Adam. Profeser liniversite. Adam lakademi finn vinn Lakadedam.
SAM
Adam enn zoli nom.
LAKADEDAM
Ou kwar?
SAM
Ou mayn si mo apel ou Adam?
LAKADEDAM
Adam? Adam? Adam! … Kifer non!
SAM
Asiz la, kot mwa. Dir mwa kifer ou met enn kap pli gro ki ou latet, enn gawn ki kouma enn dra lor enn fantom. … Kifer ou pa tir sa?
LAKADEDAM
Ki zafer?
SAM
Kap ek gawn. … Zame ou pa’nn tir zot?
LAKADEDAM
Mo’nn deza. … Me regar lezot fer mwa gagn fre. … Fer mwa santi mo touni.
SAM
Si to tro pran lezot kont to pou fini kouma sa tifi la.
LAKADEDAM
Ki tifi?
SAM
Samem … gran boudez. Li pa’le aksepte seki li ete. Li viv pou lizie lezot.
LAKADEDAM
Nou tou pa fer sa?
SAM
Si li enpe, korek. Si li tro, maler.
LAKADEDAM
Kouma pou kone?
SAM
Pa kone. Tousa difisil. Plis letan pase, plis li vinn difisil. Parol may-maye e lerla nepli kone kot koumansman, kot finision.
LAKADEDAM
Mo sey koz ar li me miray envizib kabos koze, detourn li. … Me kan nou danse santiman koule kouma dilo lasours.
SAM
Danse?
LAKADEDAM
Wi, danse. … An! Ou pa ti la. … Wi, danse. Li ek mwa, nou kouma … kouma Margot Fonteyn ek Rudolf Nureyev me kan lamizik arete, tou vinn tris. Tris … Sakenn so kote dan lenz extralarz. Kan lamizik pe zwe, pa neseser koze. Tou chanel ouver pou resevwar ofrand. … Pa fasil Tantinn. … Eh! Mo finn apel ou tantinn.
SAM
Ou trouve, kontak pe koumanse. Kouma neronn dan servo, bizen konekte.
LAKADEDAM
Mo’apel li?
SAM
Kisannla?
LAKADEDAM
Samem … boudez … Bramineva.
SAM
Non. Tro boner. Non, kikfwa tro tar. Sime Ziliet pa pou krwaz ar Romeo. Sime kapav krwaze san grat ledo maler.
LAKADEDAM
Kifer ou dir sa?
SAM
Pa kone. San atann parol la nek finn sorti.
LAKADEDAM
Nenport?
SAM
Kikfwa.
( Depi enn bout letan Taykat, Faypat ek Katpat ti an konferans. Boukou zestikilasion ki montre ki zot pa dakor ar kiksoz. … Touletrwa lev lame pou montre zot lakor lor enn pwen. Faypat lor Katpat akonpagne par Taykat vinn ver Sam. Lakadedam retourn dan so kwen.)
TAYKAT
Mo vinn dir ou ki nou pa dakor.
SAM
Ar ki zafer?
TAYKAT
Ar ki zafer ta? (Li koz ar Katpat/ Faypat.)
KATPAT/ FAYPAT
Samem.
TAYKAT
Samem. … Samem? … Heh, aret fer fos! Samem sa zafer zom sipakiete.
SAM
Zom ki’ete? Pa rapel.
TAYKAT
We, zom pa’le konpran sipakiete. Sipa bavant.
SAM
Han! Lespri dan bavant.
TAYKAT
Samem. Nou bann zom nou pa dakor.
SAM
Normal!
TAYKAT
Ki normal?
SAM
Zot pa dakor.
TAYKAT
Kifer?
SAM
Si zot dakor zot oblize sanze; si zot sanze zot pou aret fer zot fanor, kraz kor bann fam; … zot pou sey konpran feminen …
TAYKAT
Konpran feminen?
SAM
Wi.
TAYKAT
Pa konpran!
SAM
Pa konpran … pa’le konpran … pa pou konpran … prefer pa konpran …
TAYKAT
Ala ou rekoumanse. Tansion nou sap lor kal.
SAM
Ou trouve? Ou rekoumanse. Sap lor kal brit-brit; kraz latet; fer ou fanor. Koz ar saler, larg choula violans, koul pwazon dan lavi fam. SIDA, dezespwar; dezespwar, SIDA.
TAYKAT
Pa sa.
SAM
Ki’ete alor?
TAYKAT
Ki kapav fer?
KATPAT/ FAYPAT
Be dir ki kapav fer. Nek zaza, zaze, zaza!
TAYKAT
Trankil zot de. Choupchap! Chouuupchap!
SAM
Les zot koze.
TAYKAT
Be zot nek koz nenport.
SAM
Misie Taykat … samem ou ti dir mwa ou nom? … ou refri koze ou? Les zot koze mem si ou kwar li nenport. Kikfwa non. Kikfwa enn ti parol ki nek sape kapav fer boukou dibien.
TAYKAT
Ditor ‘si.
SAM
Wi, me dibien ‘si.
TAYKAT
(Ar so de konper.) Madam la pe dir zot koze … be koze … (silans) … koze foutou! … Ki arive? Finn met silansie ar zot. … (ar Sam) Ou’nn trouve oumem. Zot peyna nanye pou dir. … Kwar mwa madam, mo konn zot kouma mo dis ledwa. Taykat, Faypat ek Katpat nou dan mem korom. Kan mo koze mo koz pou mwa, pou zot, pou tou. Me ou ou enn lot manier. … Koumadir nou pa viv lor mem later. … Koumadir kouma Ti-Prens ou sort lor enn lot zetwal. … Ou sort lor enn lot zetwal?
SAM
Kifer ou dir sa?
TAYKAT
Get nou, get zenes laba, get mamzel la. Ou ou pa parey. Ou lot. Nou lenz swa li sere, swa li larz. Ou ou lenz zis, kare-kare. Nou nou koumadir pe atann dernie transpor; ou ou pe atann premie bis pou al get ou tizanfan. Ou pa per lamor?
SAM
Per? Kifer?
TAYKAT
Tou dimoun per. Pa kone ki ena apre. … Kan mo tir mo santimet dimoun tranble. Dir mwa pa fer mofinn. Ou ou tir ou santimet, mizir oter, longer lebra, mizir lavi ki pe grandi. Mwa mo mizir lavi ki pe tengn, ki finn tengn. … Ou ou lot. Kler sa. Extra kler. … Ou sape. Mwa mo nek pe tourn anron otour sis pie later, mont kadadak lor enn serkey.
KATPAT/ FAYPAT
Taykat nou kapav koze?
TAYKAT
Ale, rabase. (Silans) Koze mo dalon. … (silans) Ale larme, koup so file! … Ki arive? Labous konstipe? … Bez sa mo bayo, bez sa mo matlo.
Kostim kaki pe fer parad;
Gro bogi nwar pe fer lefrayt
Dan zarden Madam Labonte.
… … Zot ena kiksoz pou dir madam la?
KATPAT/ FAYPAT
Non.
TAYKAT
Kifer zot ‘le koze?
KATPAT/ FAYPAT
Gagn anvi.
TAYKAT
Gagn for anvi?
KATPAT/ FAYPAT
Wi.
TAYKAT
For, for mem?
KATPAT/ FAYPAT
Wi.
TAYKAT
Be koze alor. … Koze! … Koze lasos!
KATPAT/ FAYPAT
Pa pe kapav. … Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav! Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav! Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav! Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav! Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav! Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav! … (Zot fer tren.)
TAYKAT
Stop! (Li tir enn souflet dan so pos, soufle for enn son pers zorey.)
SAM
Ou kontan zwe refri koze.
TAYKAT
Be ki mo bizen fer?
SAM
Mo pa kone.
TAYKAT
Prefer mo ‘si mo zwe tren. Vini bann dalon. Enn, de, trwa. Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav! Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav!
TAYKAT / FAYPAT / KATPAT
Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav! Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav! Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav! Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav! Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav! Mo’le koze, pa pe kapav! … (Taykat fer lokomotiv, Katpat vagon e Faypat pasaze.Zot fer detrwa letour lasenn e al dan enn kwen, kot zot kontinie zot grimas ansilans.)
SAM
(Pe trikote) … Zot finn touy garson la
Li pa pou retourne;
So papa so mama ansam al simitier.
Zot trouv sa bien normal.
Fer lager, trikote, fer biznes,
Fer biznes, trikote, fer lager;
Trikote, fer lager, fer biznes;
Al met fler simitier …
LAKADEDAM
(Aprose) … Ou ki’nn ekrir sa sante la?
SAM
Mwa? Non! Jacques Prevert so parol. Mo finn zis met li dan mo lang.
LAKADEDAM
Zoli. … Bien zoli. Mo’si mo ekrir poem, sante. Zis pou mwa…. Mo sant zot kan mo anba dous. … Pou bliye ki dilo fre.
SAM
Sant enn.
LAKADEDAM
Ki zafer?
SAM
Enn sante ki ou finn konpoze, Adam.
LAKADEDAM
Kan ou pronons mo nom li paret zoli.
SAM
Li enn zoli nom monwar. Pa per. Sant to sante.
LAKADEDAM
Ou sir ou pa pou riy mwa?
SAM
Ale beta! Sante baba!
LAKADEDAM
Lerla larm li koule
Kan enn zanfan ris leker
Kan li bizen manz later
So vant ranpli ar lever
Lerla larm li koule
Kan enn zanfan pe tranble
Dan so ti lenz kas-kase
Divan fre pe sirkile
Lerla larm li koule
Kan enn zanfan ferm lizie
Kan so lemonn finn vinn fre
Avan so soley leve
Lerla larm li koule
Me bann poet gran misie
Linet roupi lor lizie
Dir nou ferm lizie pou viv
Dir nou tou aret panse
Bliye larm, bliye zanfan
Ferm lizie, aret panse.
SAM
(Aplodi) Bravo! Bravo mo garson!
(Bramineva aprose.)
LAKADEDAM
Bramineva li li pa pou dakor. Mo parol pa konstitision. Pa ofisiel. Pa vre?
BRAMINEVA
(Silans)
SAM
(Ar Bramineva) Vinn asiz kot mwa. (Bramineva al asiz kot Sam.) … To vre nom Bramineva?
BRAMINEVA
Ki ete vre nom? Seki dimoun donn nou … ousa seki nou santi nou ete? Mo paran ti ole mo premie partou, you know, … zot kol eva ar braminn .. top caste, first woman … init? But me mo ti prefer Prima Ballerina … Zot dir mwa pa pou toler nachannya dan fami … Bizen kasiet seki mo ete pou paret kouma seki lezot ole mo ete.
LAKADEDAM
Zet to degizman Ballerina, zet to degizman!
SAM
Twa Adam?
LAKADEDAM
Mo zet mo kap (so kap anvole); mo zet mo gawn (so gawn anvole). Alamola!
SAM
To enn zoli boug monwar. Kifer zot kasiet bote? … Ale Ballerina, to tour aster. Zet to degizman, baba, zet sa maya la.
(Taykat, Katpat ek Faypat aprose.)
LAKADEDAM
Ale baba! Pa per baba! Kas to palto!
SAM/ LAKADEDAM
(Tap lame pou donn lagam.)
Ale baba! Pa per baba! Kas to palto! Ale baba! Pa per baba! Kas to palto! Ale baba! Pa per baba! Kas to palto! …
(Taykat, Faypat ek Katpat rant dan lagam)
SAM/ LAKADEDAM / TAYKAT / FAYPAT / KATPAT
Ale baba! Pa per baba! Kas to palto! Ale baba! Pa per baba! Kas to palto! Ale baba! Pa per baba! Kas to palto! Ale baba! Pa per baba! Kas to palto! ….
( Dousma-dousma li koumans tir so lenz kouma li ti fer avan. Enn lamizik kot jaz ek sega finn fizione desann depi lesiel. Bramineva dans enn solo. Ver lafen dans la Lakadedam al ver li e toulede danse ansam ziska zot kit lasenn. Ler lamizik arete Sam ramas so bann zafer.)
SAM
Bon, mo bizen ale.
TAYKAT
Ou pa pe atann bis?
SAM
Nou pe atann dan vid. Bis pa pou vini. … Katpat pou kontinie mars katpat?
KATPAT
Preferab. Tansion ariv Faypat enn maler. Ou kone Madam, so lipie move lagign. Li bizen mwa. Salam!
(Faypat lor ledo Katpat kit lasenn.)
SAM
Salam Taykat.
TAYKAT
Mwa mo bizen atann isi mem.
SAM
Kifer?
TAYKAT
Korbiyar pre pou pase.
(Sam sorti. Taykat al asiz lor ban, lizie fixe lor lenz Bramineva ek Lakadedam.)

Rido

Out 2003